What is Balance Anyway?
This past full moon, Connie had the chance to attend a full moon gathering led by Sarah Faith Gottesdiener. Sarah is an artist, designer, writer, teacher and Tarot Reader. Sarah’s Many Moons Workbooks and Lunar Planners sold out so fast and offer inspiration and perspective surrounding the cycle of the moon, astrology, and tarot. Sarah’s work is inspirational as she lifts women up to take charge of their power while inspiring connection and forward movement.
Sarah posed an idea that we have been chatting about all week at Emaya (funny how this works, right)? We wanted to share these thoughts with you on this day of reflection in the hopes that it too will inspire you.
Here’s the idea….
Balance is a misconception. It is an unattainable outcome. Yet, so many of us spend so much time, energy and resources trying so hard to attain it. Trying so hard to attain balance...right there is a clue that this whole concept of balance is skewed.
What is balance anyway?
Try balancing on one foot. Go on, try it (balancing with children optional).
As you balance on one foot are you able to stand still and not fall? Yes? Great! But look a little more closely...you aren’t actually standing STILL in balance at all (which I think would be the “desired state”). Did you know that it takes your entire body to keep you standing on that one foot? From the constant subtle movement of your foot to your core engagement and total body alignment...it takes many MOVING parts to keep you balanced.
Balance, in life, is similar. We have this belief in our society that we have to find balance in everything to be happy or that happiness is the result of balance. Yet, life is always changing and adapting. When we try so hard to create balance in one certain way we set ourselves up for disappointment because we will never get there. It’s nearly impossible to constantly be satisfied/balanced or successful in every single moment or area of our life... contrary to what social media presents to us.
So we got to talking about this word balance. Especially when it comes to being too busy or the constant dance of trying to get our work and family life to a 50/50 balance (kids will teach you that very quickly and quite often)! What does balance mean to us as Emaya, as individuals, and to our families? Words like harmony, centered, alignment and presence kept popping into our conversation.
What if we can strive for harmony or alignment? Instead of pushing towards an unattainable ideal what if we examine how to step back and remind ourselves of our values and what we want. It will inform our choices and how we handle loving ourselves when moments fall out of harmony. Moving with the ebbs and flows of life and learning that alignment comes from embracing that movement helps us to see more clearly. It helps us to move through our day steady and resilient.
What if we also rewrite the stories that we tell ourselves about balance? I’ve been noticing my thoughts lately and boy are they hard on me. Mean thoughts and dialogue spinning a tale that isn’t necessarily true all of the time.
For example; “You are too busy Connie, you always have been you always will be. And when you’re busy you’re stressed out and that stresses everyone out around you.” Or, “balance means getting all of your work done, doing the laundry, cooking, and cleaning, picking up the kids, taking care of yourself, making time for friends, helping people…and there is no way you have time for that so you will never feel balanced!”
NOW, when I step back and look at this stories: THIS IS WHY I FEEL STRESS! It is way too much for one person to talk on. BUT. What if I can change the narrative to “Hey girl! You are doing a lot of things that feel important to you! This busy is great but how can we get some help so you can accomplish the goals that you have set?”
There is so much more love for space and breath here.
I also needed to remind myself to get back on the mat. To be consistent with the daily ritual of taking care of myself and going inward. When I do this, I know what being centered feels like and walking down the path of feeling centered and whole feels so much more exciting than fighting for balance. I have it all within me to make a change and I know how to find my way back to alignment.
Namaste and love!